Yep, Facebook Still Sucks

“Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.”  –George Carlin

I was forced to reactivate Facebook for networking purposes. You see, I’m a small business owner, an adventure I share with my business partner. He has a family and doesn’t use the internet nearly as much as I do, so I’m responsible for maintaining our virtual presence. By extension, this means everything I say can be linked to our corporate image, so I have to restrain myself from redpilling all the idiots on my feed.

Unfortunately, it’s election season again, so everyone is going through the motions of very publicly supporting this or that candidate, talking emotionally about such and such issues, self-righteously stating how DISGUSTED they are about everything…ad nauseam…

It doesn’t help that the social justice movement has reached fever pitch, and I don’t mean that shitty movie with that shitty actor who now hosts a shitty late night show. Yes, yes, I know, bowels have movements, too. Shitty ones, in fact, but I digress.

Social justice warriors have maniacally carved out safe spaces on Facebook, Google, Twitter, Reddit, Tumblr, NeoGAF, etc. and I’m tired of participating in the circlejerk of political correctness that has been festering in America since the collapse of the Soviet Union. If it’s not “us vs. them” it’s bound to be “us vs. us,” or in this case, the U.S. vs. me.

What I’ve realized over the course of this election season (ok, before that) is that not only does Facebook suck, but my friends suck. I don’t know what I expected from such a mainstream social media platform, but I blame myself for going to a liberal arts school and surrounding myself with liberal artists.

They suck because they’re boring. We get force fed scripted nonsense all day by very wealthy and influential media outlets that want cops to shoot black people and profit off newsworthy death and hatred, so of course when I log in to check the activity on my company’s Facebook page, I should expect my personal wall to be inundated by perfunctory outrage and standard-issue platitudes.

Not only are my friends boring, but they’re stupid. Facebook users are as blindly willing to take offense as 4chan shitlords are to cause it. I’d block/unfriend them all, but as a small business owner I might need them to make money. Hell, that’s what the biggest corporations use them for, why can’t I get a piece of the action?

To be fair, almost all of them are chicks who are so easily incensed by pseudo-aggressions that one wonders if they’ll ever be able to cope with the true equality and hard work of marriage. If a transphobic meme is problematic for one of these genderfluid squirrelkins, imagine the collapse of xer fragile worldview when xer beta husband can’t afford the mortgage on xis stage performer salary.

Meanwhile, I’m all like:

Image result for smug pepe frog original

Now I’m unfollowing everybody. My wall is empty, like my soul, and Cuckbook is a safer space for it.

Oh well. At least I have Voat.

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